My book's main dude-character graduated from the Al Pacino School of Cigarette-Lighting. Maxima cum laude.
Also, lots of dudes think pigtails are cute, and not all of them are creepy perverts. And, above all else, pigtails are lazy and easy and lovely just the same – so you have much more time for reading good books, going for big thinky walks, and puzzling out how to bring slaughtered woodland creatures back from the dead so they can all get together and murder Ted Nugent.
YEAH I SAID IT